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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome numerous hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she has been repeatedly blindsided by others. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. Many of her social circle disappeared then, since they had been focused solely on her husband. It shocked her deeply. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have understood more clearly the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, several of her friends vanished and she isn't sure why. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, both of us left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation only for her to redirect conversation onto things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. I try to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She's been arranging a trip abroad I know well repeatedly even called home for a while. My intention was to share advice, but this was unappreciated. She really just desired my agreement with her plans. I have come back from four weeks in that country she is eager to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling in this role that walks away without explanation, but I don't think she can grasp the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, however, that approach is seldom the peaceful resolution we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of working things out takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step is to state how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and basically exactly what occurs. Step two involves sharing how this affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, after all. The third step is to ask how the two of you going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Consider your friend holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. A helpful technique is to say to the other person:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful to encourage mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She might reject all you say, for those who cling to a deep-seated story: they have a version of their life they cannot abandon because their very survival depends upon it and it's all they've known. This is difficult as there is no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could start out defensively and then think your perspective. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have peace from having been open and direct.